I just want to begin by saying that contrary to popular opinion, I love rainy days. Maybe if we had 10 of them I’m a row, I really wouldn’t be so keen, but to break up an unusually sunny spell of weather, I welcome it. I love the dark light it casts over the room, bringing with it the urge to light some candles, the need for that familiar cozy cardi and with it comes with permission to snuggle on down with that book…..
The rain has been consistently pouring from the moment I opened my eyes, which thanks to Arthur was at 6am. Big fat drops rolling down the windows.
One of them days…..how often do we tell ourselves that? Yesterday was one of them days. Well it very nearly could have been. I woke up feeling ill, sore throat, stuffy, cold chills, all the fun stuff. With kids to look after, honestly for me it’s the hardest part about being a mother. Having to look after little people when you could really do with some looking after yourself is tough.
Arthur was eager to go outside and jump in puddles. We did that. We found a field full of magic, or dandelions, or even weeds to some! I took a lovely picture of him. I was cold and tired, but pushed on regardless.
We went for a little walk, which turned into a big walk as I tried and failed to get Arthur to sleep (to avoid the guaranteed afternoon crankiness, which I wasn’t sure I could handle today). We finally reached the shops, Arthur still awake, excited to see the white shop, or Tesco as its most familiarly known. We went through the the same thing we always have to do when we go to Tesco. We look at the Paw Patrol toys and bless his little heart he never asks for them ever, he just holds each one and puts it back.
Mmm, I can smell it, the coffee. That will surely perk me up today, then it hits me. Is my purse in my bag. Oh shit. I rummage through the bag, no it’s not. I forgot it. Total mum fail. Fuckedy Fuck Fuck (yes that’s my exact thought process, ha!)
Off home, we head back. This time is search of my purse, which I’m sure must have fell out as I excitedly pulled my camera out on the way here to snap a picture of Arthur….we have a fair bit of ground to cover..
It was nowhere to found. Back home to a cranky toddler and a moody 11 year old. I’ll just double check that bag again, oh yes, the purse was in the bag. The whole time.
What else can I do but find that hilarious. These are the days when we really need to cut ourselves some slack. There was nothing else for it. The tv went on, yes Netflix I’m sure I still want to watch paw patrol, now piss off with the mum guilt, the kettle went on, I made a den for Arthur for good measure, and I curled up with a book. The pots would wait, the crumbs will wait, the workbooks will wait.
We made flapjacks. We ate flapjacks. I made a pot of tea and we used our posh cups. What better way to spend an hour of the day. Ollie’s lesson that day was baking and life skills…
We got through that day. We didn’t just get through it, we came out if it with a little more magic.
What will the kids remember about that day? I’m sure it will be the field full of magic, the little tea party at the kitchen table, with the special cups, the den in the living room with the candle flickering softly in the corner, the rain hitting off the windows all day long. I know that’s what I will remember.
So how does one stop a day from becoming one of those days? With the choice to look for the magic. The little things. It really is a conscious choice we can make, however small we start.
To me that truly is the key. Once over, that kind of start to the day would have brought me to my to knees. I would have told myself I was failing. I would have pushed myself to do more, unimportant things, making myself even more ill. The downward spiral would begin. Some days are terrible, but we can always make the choice to look for the magic, however small.
I’ve just realised as I’m finishing this post, the quote I have set as my wallpaper on my phone....A change of perspective can change everything in an instant…I think I must be taking note! Ah finally…..
Until next time…
P.S. Hitting publish on these kinds of post scares me. It feels really personal, which isn’t really my thing, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it yet but I’m highly introverted, ha! This is tough, but I hit share anyway, last time I felt in doubt about a post was this one and I received so many messages thanking me for being honest and that it resonated with so many of you. So here goes!
P.P.S. I also feel like I have to write a little disclaimer with this post. It isn’t always been like this for me, I haven’t always been able to look for the magic in the everyday. It has took a lot of time and patience, with myself. For some it may come easy, and I am a work in progress. I am hoping to write more about self care and the steps I have taken to get here.