It’s been a while since I’ve posted here. I’ve struggled to find the right words, I’ve struggled to know what to write about. I have second guessed myself and held myself back.
Sometimes I just feel like I have nothing to add to this space, like it’s just a giant mass of noise and words, and lets face it this space (the blogosphere/ social media world) sometimes feels like it’s 99.9 percent bullshit. I don’t want to add to that.
I feel like what I’ve said has been said a million times before and probably in a much better way…I think that may be imposter syndrome, but nonetheless it holds me back and makes me really question what I am putting out there. I’m feeling very similar with my Instagram lately. Wondering why I am here sharing our lives. I do think it comes down to connection with likeminded folk, it’s nice to share, to connect but I’ll be honest sometimes it can be overwhelming. I’m finding I’m valuing authenticity above all else lately.
I want my blog to be more personal, but on the other hand I am scared of revealing too much, and at the moment I’m not even sure if I want too, if that makes sense…no it doesn’t to me either…This has made me somewhat struggle with content, ha. I’d love to share more about our unschooling, my mental health struggles, healing and spirituality, I have so many half written blog posts it’s crazy!
I’ve been busy…busy making rainbows and sweaters….in all honesty I’ve taken on too much work. I haven’t been mediating as much, I haven’t done any yoga, I have three courses waiting for me to return to them….I just haven’t had the time and energy to put into my blog, even though writing here is somewhat of an escape for me.
Anyway I though I’d come here just to check in, say hello, let you know what we have been up too, where I’m planning on going…
I have been spending lots of time decluttering and simplifying, from our toys to our schedules down to the cutlery drawer. It feels good. In fact it has became a bit of an addiction, getting rid of something, feeling lighter, wondering why the hell I’ve let it take up my space for so long. This is a work in progress, I’m still finding my feet, mostly trying not to buy any more stuff, I’m giving a month of no spend another go for August…just for fun!
It has opened up space for me to think about what I truly want, what makes me happy, what I want for our family. One thing that I am steadily working on is implementing a really strong and steady rhythm for our family. I am impulsive and spontaneous, which some days is amazing, but I am craving some firm familiarity for the kids, for me too, I think this will add so much more to our home life. I’ve discovered this means more baking…I’m getting used to the smell of fresh bread wafting through the house, cookies baking in the oven to start the week, that’s the memories I want the kids to have growing up…..
We finally have our camper van back on the road, so the last few weekends have been pretty amazing. Waiting patiently for Daddy to finish work on a Friday, packing a bag, or 20, and heading to the beach. That’s happiness for me. We found the most perfect little spot, where we can open the van door to beautiful sea views and the kids can play freely all day and all night. I have enjoyed sand on my toes and salt in my hair, that is food for my soul.
The wheel of the year has turned again, we are in the full flow of summer, how did that happen? I am just going to be over here trying to live a little more simply, which for me always involves more baking, spending less money, trying to tread more lightly on the Earth and continue to keep my kiddies alive and happy, hopefully with a little magic thrown in! That sounds like quite a lot of work actually….
I do apologise for a completely rambling blog post, but I just though that something may be better than nothing, or maybe not?! Ha.
Hopefully it won’t be so long until next time…
I’d love to know how you have been…